Amy Edwards's But God Story

A while back, I studied Luke 11:14 -23 – specifically verses 21 and 22. “When a strong man, fully armed, guards his estate, his possessions are secure. But when one stronger than he attacks and overpowers him, he takes from him all his weapons he trusted in, and divides up his plunder.”  The questions were asked, “How has Satan stolen from you and intended to harm you?” “What plunder did you receive from that when God was victorious?”  Given that I was studying this particular lesson on the week of my 15th wedding anniversary, I immediately knew the answer to both of these questions.

My marriage has not always been as wonderful as it is today.  It had a rocky start (we were young and married out of rebellion to our parents) and we had some really tough times early on.  There was a point when we admitted to one another that we never should have gotten married – that we were not part of God’s perfect will for our individual lives.  We liked each other and even loved each other, but not as God intended for us to.  There were numerous times that Satan sought to kill, steal and destroy us individually and as a couple.  Only by God’s grace, some marriage counseling, family, and a commitment to our vows did we survive during those first few years.  But survival doesn’t necessarily equal happiness.

Fortunately, as time passed, we matured.  We grew closer to one another and thought we were happy.  Life seemed to be pretty good.  It was around this time that we went through fertility problems for three-and-a-half long years!  Our issues were labeled “unexplained infertility” but God knew His explanation and thru many tears, He revealed it to us.  I believe it was originally a consequence to sin and then His sovereignty and perfect timing.  When we thought our marriage was strong enough for children, He knew better.  We needed to endure together the stress that came with infertility.  Trust me, it was hard!  That kind of stress, emotions, and hormones brought about a whole new level of problems in our marriage.  But it also eventually brought about a full dependence on God.  We survived those difficult years and in God’s perfect timing, after our full surrender to His will, He unexpectedly blessed us with children.

Probably from the years of 2001 to 2007, we seemed pretty happy.  We had our ups and downs, but we seemed to be in a good spot.  It was in 2007 that my relationship with the Lord began to grow.  As I grew closer to the Lord, I realized my marriage wasn’t all that it needed to be.  In January of 2008, during a series by our pastor on “Besetting Sins” and a simultaneous study by Beth Moore called “Breaking Free”, I came to realize that there were things that I had not forgiven my husband for.  Things that happened before we even married!  But I also recognized that there were things I had not forgiven myself for.  I had asked God’s forgiveness for past mistakes, and I knew He had forgiven me.  But I had not forgiven myself.  I survived under a blanket of guilt that weighed me down.  I came home one night and told Chanch that I forgave him.  I asked his forgiveness for my inadequacies, and he forgave me.  But even harder than that, I forgave myself.  I told Satan that I would no longer allow him to use my past as a weapon against me.  He would no longer have the freedom to guilt me with forgiven sins.  My chains were gone!  And in His great love for me, He showed me during that time the sweet difference between relationship and religion.

Since that time, I seriously can’t begin to tell you the changes that took place in my marriage.  We are truly happy now!  We don’t always see eye to eye, but we’ve learned how to fight fair!  We love each other more than anything, and even better – we are best friends.  There is no one I would rather spend time with than my sweet husband.  And I know he feels the same!  We have 3 beautiful children and 15 years of marriage behind us.  We are both closer in our individual walks with the Lord than we had ever been, and we encourage each other to grow closer.  And the man who once regretted marrying me just gave me his late mother’s wedding set as a renewed commitment of his love for me.

Satan intended evil against me.  And I gave him plenty of footholds (weapons) with which to do it.  But, “Greater is HE that is in me than he that is in the world.”  My God was victorious and He not only brought me freedom, He blessed me with the plunder!

[ Submitted by Amy Edwards ]