Mildred Butler's "But God" story:

In 1985 my life changed.  I found a lump in my breast.  I had always done the right things to safeguard against getting breast cancer as one of my sisters had breast cancer, my mother had ovarian cancer and my other sister had ovarian cancer but was diagnosed in time to get all of it.  I just had a gut feeling that now it was happening to me.

I made an appointment with the doctor who set me up for a biopsy.  Before I went into surgery, the nurse told me that they would know right away if it was cancer.  I thought, good, no waiting for results.  After surgery and after I came to my senses, the doctor told me he wanted me to stay overnight.  My worst fears were realized.  I was diagnosed with breast cancer.  Nothing could have prepared me for that day when I heard the doctor say the dreaded C word.  I cried and all I could think about was how do I tell my kids, who were 8 and 13 at the time. 

I will never forget the feeling of loneliness and helplessness I felt at the hospital, even though I was surrounded by a lot of people.  After my family left for the night and I was alone, all the fears came back.  My kids.  Will I see them grow up, marry, have kids?  I struggled with the thought of leaving my husband, who was my rock.

As I lay in my bed crying, a nurse came in and sat by my bed.  She told me about her mother who had breast cancer years earlier and was fine now.  I was so depressed that I think if I could have gotten to the window I would have jumped out.  She must have sensed my desperation because as she was telling me about  her mother, she was slowly pulling up the railings on the sides of the bed.  

When I got home, my husband and I talked with the kids.  After we told them, the first words out of their mouth were, "Are you going to die?"  My husband and I cried some more.  Four years later, I went through another bout with breast cancer.  I remember days before I was schedule for surgery again, I was hysterical and could not stop crying.  I called the doctor and ask for some medication to calm me down.  He told me he was not going to treat me with drugs, which did not set well with me at the time. 

BUT GOD knew that I did not need drugs.  All I needed was to give it all to Him as He had everything under control.  I dumped everything at the feet of Jesus.  What a relief!  I felt like a different person.  One more bout (3rd time) being diagnosed with breast cancer.  This time I had a peace.  I knew that God had taken care of me 2 other times and he would do it again.  My last bout with cancer was 15 years ago.  Our kids are grown, married and have kids.  We are blessed with 6 wonderful grandkids!  God is so good!!  If the doctor had treated me with drugs, I never would have relied on our precious Savior to take care of me and know the  joy of feeling him in my presence.   

[ Submitted by Mildred Butler ]